{messed up}

okay. i messed up. i blew it.

after writing about loving my siblings, i got very mad about my younger sister today. again. and again.

it's at times like these that i just feel like giving up.



then i thought of this incredible, incredible song that i love.

i dare you to lift yourself off the floor to try again...
like today never happened this makes me think of a voicemail on one of our friend's phone. "this is the first day of the rest of your life." with God's* help, we can try again.
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell Jesus is always willing to forgive. no matter what we've done. it can be getting mad at my sister, or getting into a vicious circle of lying and disobeying my parents like i used to before. it can be something "worse". but there are no degrees of sin to God. he hates all of it. but he loves all of us. and is willing to forgive!
where will you run to escape from yourself...salvation is here when we hate ourselves, we have to run to the One who will always love us.



p.s. i wrote this just as much for me as i did for anyone else.

*and no, i CANNOT leave God out of this equation. without him, there is no hope for a better future...that we will do any better. we'll just end up on the floor again if we go by our own efforts.

{now.}

It was spring, but it was summer I wanted the  warm days,and the great outdoors.

It was summer, but it was fall I wanted,
the colorful leaves, and the cool, dry air.

It was fall, but it was winter I wanted,
the beautiful snow, and the joy of the holiday season.

It was winter, but it was spring I wanted,
the warmth and the blossoming of nature.

I was a child, but it was adulthood I wanted,
the freedom and respect.

I was 20, but it was 30 I wanted, to be mature, and sophisticated.

I was middle-aged, but it was 20 I wanted, the youth and the free spirit.

I was retired, but it was middle age I wanted, the presence of mind without limitations.

My life was over, and I never got what I wanted.

- Jason Lehman

can we, can I, live in the NOW?

not in the past, not in the future.

NOW.

maybe we should all buy watches like this so we can remember.

p.s. on a side note, this was written by a 14-year-old boy. who says teens can't be smart and profound and worth talking to?